It was killing me not to tell her where we were going. I turned and stopped at stoplights and she was rubbing the back of my neck with her left hand. If she knew what that did to me she would stop it, or maybe she would continue. I didn’t know. We hadn’t really gotten to that part, and I was ok with that. Honestly, that part of my brain was temporarily on hold. It was still there, I am a guy after all but her safety and happiness was worth more than anything physical that we could get into. And there were so many other things going on in her life that I just wanted to be her refuge. I wanted to be her life jacket in a rough sea.
I pulled into the complex and I could tell that she had probably already figured out where we were. I just hoped that she let me explain before she came to conclusions that were, yeah, like I said, on hold. We walked up the stairs and I unlocked the door to the place that I wished one day she would call home.
She walked in first and asked for permission to look around.
How ridiculous. She holds my every breath in the palm of her hand and she wants to know if it’s alright if she looks around my puny apartment? I want her to be here when I get home from work, when I go to work, when I go to sleep and when I wake up. I want to look at her across the table when I eat and I want to see her clothes in my room. Can you look around? Hell, you can throw everything out and start over…As long as you are still here.
She went into the kitchen first then she looked around my bedroom. She knew it was my bedroom automatically and that made me smile. I really didn’t want her in there. I wanted to steer clear of it because I wanted my intentions to be known. And right now they had nothing to do with that bedroom.
She was just standing there, a beautiful sight in my bedroom. If I could freeze time right here I would. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me as close as I could. She came willingly. She knew that she was safe here in my arms and I was fulfilled at that moment. Her hair smelled like some mix of lavender and vanilla and I wanted that scent to be the one that I came home to. I wanted to be her shield, her rock, her solace. I put my chin on her shoulder and tried to coax her to go eat. She was getting thinner these days and I had cooked my Mom’s chicken and rice recipe just for her.
I thought I had finally convinced her to eat when she turned in my arms and looked at me dead on and I was like a statue in the firm gaze of the one who held my heart. She had tears pooling in the bottom of her eyes, which were more gray than green today. I opened my mouth to find out why and she shut me up with her mouth on mine.
All right people, you know the rest of the scene, right?
Hope you enjoyed it. I loved writing it. Thank you all for your support and telling everyone about my book. You are all stars in my sky!