Beholden

Chapter 1

Acacia

“Aspen. What kind of name is that? It’s like his butt owns a writing utensil. Or is a writing utensil.”



Aspen's name is now synonymous with vomit.
I swear to all that's holy if Dahlia says Aspen one more time I'm going to projectile blow chunks all over her. It can't be helped. The physical reaction to--him--is involuntary and violent. She's across the room trying to console me and it's not working. Nothing works. Her precious shifting and running, swimming--none of it do a damn thing to get him out of my head. Eating certainly doesn't help--my stomach rejects it all.
"Cia, you have to get out of here. Tarrow says that As.."
I jump to my feet and point in her direction. "Dahlia, I can make it the five feet over to you and my aim has become extremely precise over the last few days. I could puke into a straw from a mile away. Go ahead. Say the name. But you've been warned."
She rolls her eyes. They are going to get stuck like that sooner than later the way she’s been pulling that move on me lately. She knows nothing about what I’m going through. None of them do.
She has this beautiful mate who is loving and caring and takes care of his shit.
I have Ass-Pen.
That’s the only way I will say his name.
Like he corrals donkeys for a living.
Like himself.
Because he’s the biggest jackass of them all.
“He wants to come see you.”
Well, guess what? I want a lot of things-like a punching bag with Aspen’s face on it. Do I get it? No…
This is the hard part. The part where my bear and I are having a Mexican stand-off. Because she’s fighting herself too. It’s like having a dream about a dream—except it’s a nightmare.
She wants at him—to rake his eyeballs with her claws but also to have him near her and tell her it’s going to be okay.
That one day she and I will be able to forgive him.
Mostly me—the human part of me holds grudges as long as the Mississippi river—maybe longer.
I, on the other hand, wasn’t even sure if I wanted it to be okay.
I wondered if this feeling would ever go away. Would I be sitting next to him while we were surrounded by grandchildren and still not be able to see anything except him with that tramp at the very moment when he was supposed to be only mine?
Because right now that was all I could see.
“I’m not surprised. He likes to see a lot of girls.” I turned to the window before wiping away the ever-present wetness from my cheeks.
“Don’t do that.” Her voice carried concern. All their voices were laden with worry.
“What? Lia? Don’t tell the truth? Don’t say that he is a two-timing, three-timing, maybe even a twenty-five-timing man—slut?
In the reflection of the window I saw her pull the collar of her shirt over her mouth to stop me from seeing her smile even though my back was turned,
My sister clears her throat and shakes her head. “A man slut. That’s a new one. I almost want to write that one down and tell Tarrow.”
“You should. It’s a new one.” One side of my mouth pulls up into an almost grin. Almost is the closest it gets lately.
The silence that followed choked me.  I couldn’t help it. There I was on the verge of something great-something that I’d wanted my entire life and he ruins it.
He ruins the Precious.
Oh, Creator, I was starting to sound like Gollum. If my hair falls out and I start that hacking and gagging thing, Aspen’s ass is mine to beat.
It was time to move on. I’d known it for a while, but, to be honest, I’d run out of foul names for my beastly mate. That meant the holding out was over.
“I’ve decided some things, Dahlia.”
She got up and I could hear the squeak of clothes hangers as she filed through my outfits in the closet. Aspen had even ruined shopping for me. I went out a week ago and tried to buy a dress to console myself, but it didn’t work. “Oh yeah? Tell me.”
“Tomorrow I’m going to register for the Fall semester and get a job on campus—and if it’s not too late, try to get a dorm room.”
The last hanger stopped dead.
“Come on, Cia, you’re taking this too far. At least speak to him before you decide to run out like this.”
The vomit bubbled up in my throat again. “No, taking it too far would be moving to Chile and becoming a professional cliff diver. This is preserving my sanity—whatever is left of it. I know I’m going to catch hell from everyone else. Can’t you be the one that doesn’t give it to me? Please?”
She sighed, heavy and long. “So that’s it? You’re ending the mating?”
“There never was a mating.”
Thank the Creator my sister couldn’t sniff out a lie.

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About Beholden

Just a quick note: If you downloaded Beholden, please download the more recent version on 12/14 in the morning. Some lovely readers were kind enough to let me know that I had uploaded the wrong version the first time. Thank you!

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It's ALIVE!!!!

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Whatcha Reading Wednesday

I am really not reading anything right now because I am finishing up Beholden as we speak. So, I thought I would do a giveaway instead. Here's what you need to do. Follow me on social media and sign up for my newsletter. There is a rafflecopter below.

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Teaser Tuesday

Since its Teaser Tuesday I am going to give you another teaser from Beholden. Make sure you are signed up for my newsletter and you follow me on Facebook. I have some announcements coming up and you don't want to miss it.  Just a reminder this teaser is subject to change and is not edited.

There wasn’t really any point in being shy around him anymore. The thoughts I was having alone were enough to start a bonfire.

“Yeah, she probably left my bra and underwear right there on the threshold of our house. That should stir up some gossip. Get ready.”

He didn’t speak for a minute and self-awareness set in. Maybe I’d gone too far.

“That’s actually nothing. One time I changed halfway up an oak tree. My boxers were strung from a tree branch the next morning. Guess who found them?”

“Who?”

“Hawke. I think we were about fifteen. But thankfully he was still reeling from Tarrow’s Speedo incident the day before so he didn’t give me too much shit.”

I could’ve listened to him all night. But I had to hear this story. “Hey, can you give me the clothes? I’m freezing in here.”

Throwback Thursday

Today's Throwback Post is Hearten (Bayou Bear Chronicles Book 2)

Determined to be the best Beta he can, Rev has made sure to keep his distance from Martha, the female he knows to be his mate. He’s not sure he even knows how to be a decent mate to her.
All that changes when the Alpha and the Coeur conspire to make sure that Martha and Rev both face what they’ve known to be true for so long.
One look is all it takes, but there is so much more to being a mated couple than facing the claim.
Martha is not ready to give up anything in her life, not even to make room for him.
Rev is ready, but only as long as his female bends her life to fit into his.
Pushing and pulling, each one will have to decide which is more important—the life they’ve built, or the one they could have together.

This young adult shifter story is a continuation of Burden (Bayou Bear Chronicles). Each book in the series has it's own HEA.

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Whatcha Reading Wednesday

This week I just finished Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi. I have to say I really enjoyed it. Have you had a chance to read it yet? Visit me on Facebook and tell me what you are reading.

Shatter me by Tahereh Mafi

Teaser Tuesday

Here is another teaser from Beholden (unedited). 

Colleges shouldn’t be so damned maze-like. I’d been on campus for at least forty minutes and the closest I’d come to registering for classes was almost getting run over in the crosswalk by a guy on a tangerine Vespa.

A tangerine Vespa.

Shifters didn’t drive tangerine anything—too much attention-calling.

After asking three other people, the last of whom I swore was some kind of cat shifter, directions to the Registrar’s Office, I finally got there.

“There she is,” The shifter’s voice crawled over my shoulder and into my ear. I inhaled deeply and found that my suspicions were true. I took a quick look around my surroundings just to make sure no one was listening.

“You give good directions for a cat.”

He chuckled, deep and raspy. “Better than any bear could give.”

I turned around to see the irises of his eyes flash from human to cat—bobcat. “Are you just doing a good turn and making sure I got here safely or is there another reason you are following me?”

He took a step forward and his scent washed over me—a little nauseating—a little intriguing.

“Oh, sweet girl, I’m not a Boy Scout. A good turn is not required of me every day—or ever. We cats don’t really like all that do goodery that you bears seem to enjoy. We enjoy a bit of—mischief.”

A bit of mischief—from the way his lip curled at the end of his sentence, he enjoyed a whole hell of a lot more than a bit.

“Well, I’m not into mischief. I’m a rule follower. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“Now hold on.” He put his hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off, a little more violently than intended. My bear was clawing at me—demanding that I cease and desist in talking to this sly cat. “Tell me one things and then I’ll leave you alone. Where has being such a good girl ever gotten you? Aren’t you curious about—actually living?”

“I live. I live plenty.”

“And you have everything you’ve ever wanted by playing it safe?”

I didn’t know much about cats, but this one must’ve been a little psychic or psycho.

“I’ve got to go.”

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Sunday Swoon

Today's Swoon Sunday Post comes from Engraven (Bayou Bear Chronicles 3)

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” She finally claimed, throwing her hands in the air and for the first time since we’d reached the cabin, stopped pacing like a panther.

“Of course you don’t. I hope you don’t.”

“I’ve only ever kissed one other guy besides you. And he certainly wasn’t looking for me to bite him on his…”

I made no attempt to hide my smile. “His what? Come on give me some clue.”

She froze in front of me. “You’re enjoying this? You are, aren’t you?”

I took her waist in my hands the way I had when we’d first met and dragged her hips against mine. “I’m not enjoying seeing you like this—no. Am I enjoying having my female to myself? Absolutely.”

Circumventing her mouth, I brushed my lips on her neck, just under her soft earlobe. It ended her ranting and raving and in their place blossomed her growing love.

“I can’t think when you do that.” She choked on the words.

“That’s the problem. You’re thinking about this too much. Let nature take its course. We were made for this. We were made for each other.”

Her breath hitched as I moved further down, across her collar bone.

“Your hip.” She croaked out. I’d heard her loud and clear, but I wanted to hear it again.

Plus, I loved to torture her.

“What?”

“Your hip. She chose your hip”

Skittering my lips north, they landed on her ear so I could make her shiver. “You chose my hip, love. Say it.”

She shook her head.

“Say the words, Dahlia. There’s no embarrassment here. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s just you and me.”

Squaring off her shoulders, she gathered her bravery. Her walls reinforced themselves.

“I chose your hip. The second time we shifted together. That’s where I want your mark. And that’s where I want you to bite me.’

A little nudge and my girl flipped her courage on like a switch.

“It’s your call. You tell me when you’re ready. I feel like I’ve been ready for years, but it’s your choice, love.”

“Are you just saying that or do you mean it?”

I knew that calling her love would become an issue sooner or later. I wanted it to become an issue. I wanted her to ask.

Creator above, let her ask the question.

“Do I mean what?”

“You call me love. You can’t love me already. You don’t even know me.”

A laugh rumbled through me. I knew her. She just didn’t know it.

“I know you. I know that only a female of worth cares about her family as much as you do. I know that you treat my mother with the utmost respect. I know that your sisters look up to you and your father is hesitant to let his little girl go. All of those things make me know you. I might not know the little things, but I know you. I know your soul. And that’s enough for now. It’s enough to know that I love you and I’m not afraid to say it.”

“I’m afraid to say it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. You can hear her. Your bear can hear its mate, right? You know how we feel.”

Taking her face in my hands, I paused before covering her lips with mine again. “I know you love me. Take your time in saying the words, but I know you love me and that’s plenty enough for me.”

I didn’t allow her to answer. This time wasn’t like the others. She was sure of what I was offering, my complete and unfiltered love through that kiss. Nudging her lips open with my own, I began a slow torture that was enough to lull us both into oblivion.

With her hands on my chest, she gently pushed back from it, taking a second to recover.

I loved that she had to recover from me.

“I’m ready. I have to do this now before I lose my courage.”

“Okay. I’m taking my pants off, but that’s it.”

“I had to pick that spot, huh?”

“Yeah, you did. You might thank yourself on the night of our mating ceremony.”

“I might.”

I held her gaze and never let it go while I disrobed in front of my mate. It wasn’t a big deal for me. We shifters stripped in front of each other all the time to turn into bears, but Dahlia wasn’t used to that kind of life.

“Shit.” Her hands were shaking and I had to take a second to calm her once again. “I don’t know the effing words.”

“Hey, just speak from the heart.”

She whooshed out a breath that held the world on its shoulders.

“Reach down deep, Dahlia. Close your eyes and let your bear take over. She knows the words that you want to say. Let her take over.”

I watched the transition happen before me. She closed her eyes slowly. Her shoulders relaxed at once and the tension lines on her face diminished.

And when she opened her eyes again, the glitter in her stare was purely her bear looking back at me. She and her bear were the same. We often referred to them as two different entities, but really, in the core of things, they were the same soul, torn between two very different bodies.

Like the sky that was pulled between night and day.

“I am yours, Tarrow. And you are mine. I place this mark on you to signify our eternal bond and the promise that one day we will be mated. You love me, right? Tell me please.”

“I love you Dahlia, heart and soul, I love you.”

“Then accept my mark as my love for you.”

She bent down and before I could process what was going to happen, teeth broke through skin and only stopped when they hit bone. The pain lasted only seconds and the joy of her mark triumphed any lingering agony.

She raised up and wiped away the trickle of blood from the side of her mouth. She had a skirt on and I wouldn’t propose she take it off, I would just pull it down as much as I needed to.

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Throwback Thurday

Have you met the intriguing Black Brothers and the derby girls they love.  Here is your chance. You can grab the box set it contains all 5 Love and Skate books. The set includes: Love and Skate, How it Rolls, Down 'N' Derby, Caught  in a Jam and False Start.

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Falcon Friday

Its Falcon Friday. For those who may not know who Falcon is, let me introduce you to him. Falcon is one of the lead character from How It Rolls(Love & Skate 2).

Here are some quotes from our guy.

She called me a stiff? I think that's worse than when Nellie calls me a square or a suit. I was a suit. And why in the Hell did I care if some girl called me a stiff? She could take her orange hair and stuff it up her...Oh who was I kidding, I wanted to be her hairbrush.

The great thing about numbers is that they don't lie. They never make you think they mean one thing but really mean another. And when you find the answer. It always makes sense. People are like that too, and if you stick a cut in salt it wont hurt, promise.

When I grow up I want long, red hair like Lion-O from Thundercats. Plus, I want to growl and wear weird boots.

You can grab your copy of the Love and Skate series HERE

Whatcha Reading Wednesday

This week I have been reading anything with shifters in it. I do love a good shifter book. So, I wanted to share a box set I am part of with everyone. There are book from 20 different authors. A shifter story for everyone.

Shifters and Spice

If you dream of shifters, this set of 20 brand new shifter stories featuring USA Today and New York Times best-selling authors has you covered. Whether you like them large and in charge or sleek and sexy, you'll find the right story to spice up your night in these pages.

You can find your copy HERE!

Teaser Tuesday

Its Teaser Tuesday so I thought I would give you another sneak peek from Beholden,

Enjoy!

My bear wanted me to march over to her house as her car pulled up in the driveway, demand to know what took her so long and scan her for bruises or cuts—because that’s all he cares about—where she is—if she is okay—and—you know.

To tell the truth, I kind of wanted to do that too—without the roaring. He wanted to roar at her—thought it would be the bear version of manly.

I don’t think she would concur.

In fact, it might be six steps back.

Slinking behind a tree, I try not to be noticed watching her like a big fat stalker. I watched as she got out of the car and took a long deep breath and released it. She was home okay and not visibly scarred.

Bear satisfied—almost.

“I see you Aspen—whatever your last name is.”

I took a chunk off of the tree, clunking my head against it. She didn’t even know my last name. It’s like we don’t know the basics about each other, but I’m already in deep shit.

I’m an ass-backwards bear.

“Everhart.”

“What?” She yelled and I refused to move from the tree.

After removing the shards of bark from my forehead, I walked over to her but instead of answering her question, I posed my own brought on by the stench that aired around her.

“Why do you smell like a cat?”

Swoon Sunday

Today's Swoon Sunday moment  comes from, Love and Skate. Where we meet Nellie and Owen.  Just a reminder there will be another giveaway this week. So make sure you keep an eye on the blog..


     "Look, I'm sorry. But how could you ever think that you don't deserve me? You're the best thing that has ever happened to me and you think that I don't want to marry you as much as you want to marry me? That aggravates the piss out of me."
     "All I heard is that you want to marry me." He was smiling like a goon. "Oh no, you're gonna have to do better than that." I crossed my arms.
     He pulled me onto the bed and into his lap and brushed his knuckles down the side of my neck and across my shoulder.
     "Nellie, I love you more than I have ever loved anything. How could I ever have a life without you in it? No matter what happens in the future, it wont be worth a thing without you. So, will you marry me?"
     "I've got purple hair and piercings in my lips and I don't act like a lady and I beat up on girls in roller derby and..." I babbled off all of the reasons that I was insecure just like he thought he didn't deserve me.
     "Hey, hey. all of those things make me love you even more. You don't give a damn what people think and it makes you that much better." I got a hold of myself and took a deep breathe.
     "Yes." I said so quietly I didn't think I said it out loud.
     "Say it again. Just so I'm sure." He tugged at my waist.
     "Owen Matthew Black I will marry you and be the most kick ass wife ever."
     "Yes you will. Now, I want to end this Thanksgiving laying next to my future wife, come on."

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Throwback Thursday

This week's throwback is A Bayou Bear Chronicle series. Make sure you are all caught up with the bears before Beholden releases.

You can grab your copy Here

It’s been a while since I talked to Hawke. I mean, he is the Alpha of the largest black bear clan, not to mention, the Alpha of all bear clans.

He’s kind of busy.

And he’s got to deal with Rev on top of all of that.

Rev is a pain in the bear butt.

So when he sent me a text asking me to meet him at a coffee shop of all places, I thought it was more than just a little strange—it was weird—more than weird.

*Hawke walks in to a Lake Charles coffee and tea house. Hawke isn’t really a caffeinated drink in a cardboard sleeve kind of guy, but I went with it. After all, how many of us get to sit with a shifter and just…chat?*

Hawke doesn’t order anything because I’ve already gotten him an espresso. He seems like an espresso guy, right?

Hawke: Thanks, Lila. It’s been a while. You remembered.

I shift my eyes around the room. This guy thinks I’ve forgotten him. Okay, I admit it, I forget some things about my characters sometimes. It happens.

But really, forget Hawke? Please.

I’d have a better time forgetting my own ass.

Me: Yep. So, Alpha, what’s up?

He hates when I call him Alpha. His scowl grows more defined.

Hawke: Consider my buttons pushed. So, I heard it’s going to be over soon.

Me: Over?

Hawke: Yeah, our books. Word on the street is that you’re done with the last one. Just putting some finishing touches on it.

Me: *Trying like hell not to crack up* The street? What is this street?

Hawke: You know that I mean. It’s over though, right?

Me: The book series is over—for now.

Hawke: For now?

Me: Well, there’s a chance your clan will show up in some future shifter books. And let’s be real. Just because the books end doesn’t mean your lives end. Reality shows end but people’s lives don’t.

Hawke: *Now visibly disturbed* So, it was just some books to you? It’s over but our lives aren’t over?

Me: If you’re insinuating that this is easy for me, Hawke, you are grossly mistaken. I’ve ended series before. It’s never easy. But this one is particularly hard. This one stings like a deep cut that years later still aches. If you think this doesn’t make me bleed…

Hawke: No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I mean, you made us. It must be like…

Me: Like watching your kid move out of the house. Like watching them drive away on their own for the first time. Like closing the door on the Kindergarten classroom for the first time. It’s necessary. It has to be this way. But it sucks. Don’t think you can stop answering my calls though. I will come after you. I don’t care who is at the clan’s gates, I will hunt you down, Turnclaw.

He raises his eyes in a challenge.

Me: Don’t test me.

Hawke: Would never dream of it. Those cats are up to no good again, by the way. I can smell the trouble.

Me: I know. They are bobcats. That’s what they do—stir up mischief.

Hawke: I hate them. They smell bad.

Me: You know what’s funny? They said the same thing about you.

Hawke: We are gonna miss having you around, sniffing in our business all the time.

Me: I’m gonna miss y’all too. Except Rev—he’s a pain in my ass. Always has been.

Hawke: But he gets the job done, you know?

Me: I do. Can’t really fire the scribe.

Hawke: That includes you. We will never really be rid of you, will we?

Me: Nope.

Hawke: *He gets up, drinks down the espresso in one gulp and then turns around. He’s walking away. But before he does, I hear him mutter.* I’m counting on it, Felix. I’m counting on it.

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Whatcha Reading?

Right now I am not reading anything. I am working furiously on Beholden. I don't have much of an update at the moment. So, lets do a giveaway..

I will be giving away an eBook of Burden and a ribbon bookmark. So, make sure to enter the rafflecopter giveaway. Also,, make sure you follow me on social media for all my release news.

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Teaser Tuesday

Here is a teaser from Beholden. Its not been edited and subject to change.

Enjoy,

Lila

If this feeling would ever go away. Would I be sitting next to him while we were surrounded by grandchildren and still not be able to see anything except him with that tramp at the very moment when he was supposed to be only mine?

Because right now that was all I could see.

“I’m not surprised. He likes to see a lot of girls.” I turn to the window before wiping away the ever-present wetness from my cheeks.

“Don’t do that.” Her voice carries concern. All their voices are laden with worry.

“What? Lia? Don’t tell the truth? Don’t say that he is a two-timing, three-timing, maybe even a twenty-five-timing man—slut?

In the reflection of the window I can see her pull the collar of her shirt over her mouth to stop me from seeing her smile even though my back is turned,

“A man slut. That’s a new one. I almost want to write that one down and tell Tarrow.”

“You should. It’s a new one.”

The silence that followed choked me.

It was time to move on.

“I’ve decided some things, Dahlia.”

She got up and I could hear the squeak of clothes hangers as she filed through my outfits. “Oh yeah? Tell me.”

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Swoon Sunday

Today's Swoon Sunday post comes from Perchance. You can grab your copy here

     "Remi I've loved you all my life. I lost you once but I won't lose you again. I'm going to stick by you  no matter what. Will you marry me?" She nodded, crying and half laughing at the same time. "You have to say it out loud. You know how we screw things up." She laughed and wiped some of her tears away. "Yes Cooper, I will marry you." I slid the ring on her finger. I got up and took her in my arms. "I thought it was too late." She whispered. "Never...I told you I would always be here."

Freebie Friday and a Sale

Right now you can grab a copy of Sparrows for Free, FREE and Doves for Sale, 99 Cents

You can also grab a copy of Lightning Kissed FREE

I wanted to tell you about one of my favorite books, Kiss of Fire by Rebecca Ethington. It is FREE, so make sure you grab a copy and start this amazing series.

November Giveaway!

In the spirit of giving, I’ve gathered a dozen or so of me dearest author friends and we’ve put together a fantastic holiday giveaway for you! We are giving away a Kindle Fire HD, a $100 Amazon Giftcard, a $25 Amazon Giftcard, and over a dozen free ebooks to random winners! There are lots of super easy ways to enter, so what are you waiting for?

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